Cold As Fire

Random writings to keep me sane

Posts tagged love

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Do not think to know all of me

When you know one thing about me

Do not assume to have a part of me

When you have the whole of me.

Filed under spilled ink love

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Just one touch

And you send me to darkness

Of the deepest red hues

As breathing quickens

And lips collide

A hasty retreat to privacy

Away from judgemental eyes.

Filed under spilled ink love

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I still remember, when I was but seven, my idea of love was me in a cream petticoat dress, with flowers printed all over, and white lace hems. A parasol to keep the sun away, a handbag with whatever I felt important. And he in his crisp suit and shiny shoes, maybe a hat. A briefcase containing documents for work. And we would be holding hands, walking leisurely across the courtyard. We would talk and laugh and have lunch in a quaint tearoom. Then you would kiss me on the lips before we said goodbye.

Now, it’s much simpler. It’s just you.

Filed under spilled ink love

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I am afraid, so afraid, of being alone.

A funny thing, how quickly she accustoms herself to a body of warmth laying beside her each night, soft breathing lulling her to sleep.

Barely a year and I’m already unable to sleep without you here with me, even if just a screen.

Strong arms pulling her closer as skin touches skin, legs wrapped around each other, as close as two beings can be.

Am I just being pathetic? So afraid to be alone again, in the dark where no-one watches, but my own eyes see the past, the mistakes, it is so hard to resist.

She is kissed on her head, a whispered ‘good night’, a nuzzle in the neck as she loses reality.

Take me home.

Filed under spilled ink alone love sleep

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Nightmare

Run away

From the danger

Of those suffocating arms

The black sleeves that

Have no body.

Run away

Instincts tell me

Fear that keeps my feet running

Far, far away

To stay alive.

Eyes open

And you’re so far away

This fear won’t reside

All I want is for you to

Hold me close

Until these nightmares go away.

Filed under spilled ink nightmares love

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I thought I’d have gotten used to it by now, six months later. Leaving. Yet every time we say goodbye, when the train departs the platform, the imaginary string around my heart begins to tighten, growing taut as the other end is secured to him. And it squeezes my heart so painfully, cuts into the muscle, protesting at the distance already and he’s not even out of sight, but the stone walls disappear to be replaced with hills rolling by, the string straining, restricting my breathing, and it comes to a point when I cannot take a breath so long I fear I could die the next instant. And then it snaps suddenly, as I drink in the air in long mouthfuls. And I feel…A king of sad relief. The pain is gone, replaced with a sudden longing, a hunger for one last kiss, one last embrace, one last touch. Something missing.

The emptiness is haunting, never-ending…

Filed under spilled ink love missing leaving

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I lie alone in anticipation of the night you’ll be with me,

As the rain pours down creating a sense of belonging

Just me and you

In a world of our own.

Filed under spilled ink love